Thursday, June 16, 2011

BOX Doctor

I know your super excited to hear about this right?
 ha ha
SO recently I had a little scare.

I went to the "Box" Dr. for two reasons. 1) to have my yearly check up and 2) to finally have some tests run for std's due to my previous indiscretions.

Yes, I waited probably a little too long for this. But I never said I was a fucking rocket scientist.

Anyways, I have these tests done. I'm a little nervous cause I don't want the sportsman to find out.
not that he hasnt already suspected that I cheated.

That is old fucking news people.

The big deal/issue is I dont think he really wants to know.

A n y t h i n g about what happened.

He just wants the whole unpleasant situation to

 go away.
and
I totally get that.
So anyways.
I  was worried that when the insurance company sent our statement, they always list out what you had done.

So I set my damn phone to remind me every day to get the mail first.
Cause as a norm the sportsman gets home first and gets it.

Thats no fucking good.

Getting to the freakin point.

I come home and there is mail on the island and I see its already opened so I look and its from my fucking doctor office. TO ME!
 I read it and almost pass out.
The letter says that my test for two specific std's are negative.

Are you fucking kidding me.
Since when do they list out what tests you had done??????
Of course thank God they were negative.
but
this means the sportsman opened my fucking mail and has already read it.
Now what would you think if you opened your spouses mail and that is what you saw?

Holy shit! Is what I would be thinking.

So I go outside(where the sportsman is) to test the waters and see where things stand. In my head I am racking my brain as to what the fuck I'm going to say to him.

and this is what comes out of my mouth.

"Why did you open my maill"?
His reply, " I thought it was a bill".

 (no negative attitude to my amazement).
My reply, " well it was from my doctor just saying I'm normal".
His response, " ha ha there is nothing normal about you"

(in a joking voice).
In my head I'm thinking holy fuck, what just happened here? Did I miss something?

After that, n o t h i n g was EVER said again about it.
I asked several male friends what their thoughts were on this. All of them said the same thing.
They would totally think something was up.
Normal people dont have "those" kinds of tests run at their yearly check up.
But
what the hell, if he wants to "pretend" its all good

 then I'm good with that.

I felt like a cat who just used one of my nine lives.


Thinking all was in the clear, the next day I got a call from my doctor, saying my test came back not so good.
and I needed to come back in for a biopsy.


Shut the fuck up. Um, yeah I dont think Im down with that. Lets not.
Needless to say I got stuck going back in.

Let me just say, not so much fun.
I have since received my results and I dont have cancer.
but I will have to go back in 6 months.

 Which I hear is quite a routine thing.
So no worries.

Its all good baby.
 

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